“I’m pregnant…”

How will you react when your friend finds out she’s pregnant?

An unplanned pregnancy can be scary. Your friend needs to know that she is not alone, and that you’re going be with her on this journey.  Continue to be that trusted support person that she can lean on to help her believe in herself.  Whatever that trait is that she loves about you (your creativity, your sense of humor, your midnight snack runs), now’s a great time to bring more of those virtues into the friendship.

Here’s how you can help her to know that she’s not alone:

What to do:

• Talk with her and listen to her. Ask her how she’s feeling and listen for ways you can help. Be there for her. Sometimes, the best way to help is to just listen and be with her.  You don’t need to have the answers, just keep believing in her.
• Text her encouraging messages like, “You are my amazing friend and I believe in you!” or, “I am not going anywhere.  Lean on me.”
• Talk with the people who care for her, but only if she has said that it’s okay to share the news with others. Offer to help her tell her parents, the child’s father, or other family members who need to know that she’s pregnant. Listen for ways you can help her think through who to tell and when.  If the two of you share a faith, invite her to pray with you, or offer to go with her to sit together in the silence of the church.
• Learn about where she can go for help during her unplanned pregnancy. She has options.  There are good, life affirming organizations near her that can help. You can find those on OptionLine.org and even help her make an appointment. 

What not to do:

• Don’t shame her. She may already feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed. Be a safe person for her. Stay positive and encouraging.
• Don’t pressure her. You may think you know what you would do if you were in her shoes, but she is the one who needs to decide. She has choices to make, and she needs to know you’ll be with her no matter what.
• Don't cut her off. Most women facing an unplanned pregnancy already feel alone. Make sure she knows you’ll stay with her—and listen to her—no matter what.

Have more questions?

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